Digital Shepherds was started because we noticed a divide between parents and their children where computers, culture and active parenting are supposed to meet. The reasons for this are many. From the single mom who is doing her best to stay on top of the mountain of responsibilities thrust upon her shoulders from a lack of help or co-parenting, to the parents who are just not technically savvy and have little or no clue about computer culture beyond online banking and checking email, there are many who are just out of touch. We get that, it’s a lot to stay on top of. New gadgets, seemingly every week. New computer viruses. New mobile video game devices, new social media and social networking sites. How does one keep up with this? There are many resources and we are just one among them, but there are indeed a variety of resources available to parents. You just have to seek them out. Find a couple and bookmark them and stay engaged, checking back regularly.
If we as parents aren’t connected with what’s going on with our children, someone else will happily connect with them. Case in point, “Kick a Ginger Day.” This is why it is up to us to be involved and do the job of parenting. The concept of Kick a Ginger Day came out of a South Park episode that originally aired in 2005, where the children decided to beat up others with red hair and freckles. The idea was recently sent out to youths on Facebook to make the TV concept a reality and on Friday, November 20th many children all around the country were beaten as a result. There are stories about this HERE and HERE, the first one being a story which aired on Fox11 News in Los Angeles recently. Let’s be clear about this, I’ve enjoyed watching many episodes of South Park so this isn’t a South Park bashing rant. I don’t put the blame on the TV show, but middle schoolers shouldn’t be watching South Park in the first place. Make no mistake, this is adult fare dressed up in children’s clothing. When I was young we had to sneak to watch things like that and now, many parents just accept it as part of the culture but therein lies a problem with the current culture of parenting.
The concept of “age appropriateness” seems to have taken a backseat to a culture of post modernism and parents who, quite frankly, are often too caught up in their own lives to the neglect of what’s taking place in their children’s. Now, we all get like that from time to time. It happens, but when there is constantly no balance and dads are spending many more hours at the office than with their families and moms are as well, that leaves someone else to raise our children. Unfortunately, these days that’s often the TV, video games, the computer or a nanny/daycare provider. Many people of my generation grew up on TV, but today’s TV is very different so when you say to yourself that “It’s not that bad. I watched some doozies when I was growing up and look how I turned out,” I can promise you that the glut of current programming that is horrible is much greater and more easily accessible than those of yesteryear, with the options of recording via DVR, watching on the ‘net or even on a cell phone.
Now, it is ultimately up to you to choose what is right for you and your children, but when allowing them to watch racy programming you should at least be aware of the content of what they’re watching and readily available, if necessary, to discuss that content if they have questions.
The second part of this incident was the use of Facebook to “get the word out.” This brings up a topic that I know people are at odds over and that is “friending” your little ones on Facebook. While we personally think this is a good thing to do, especially if you allow your children to join up prior to the 13 year old Terms of Service requirement, this is something each parent will have to wrestle with. For me, there was no wrestling. I’m not their “friend,” but the online world can be subversive and potentially dangerous, so until my children have reached an age or maturity level where I feel they are able to appropriately navigate social networks without fear of them being drawn in by predators, bullies or other youths who want to be “friends” but with “benefits” it’s my job to watch over their activities which means occasionally checking in on their digital comings and goings. Think of it this way. You try to know who your children are hanging out with so you have an idea of what influences are potentially in their lives, right? You don’t let them spend the night out without at least talking to the other parent on the phone, or meeting them in person prior to allowing the overnighter but on Facebook, there are anywhere from 100 to 300 or more of their “closest friends” that you may know nothing about.
So, while we can’t blame video games and TV, that doesn’t mean there aren’t things out there that we shouldn’t be taking a stand on and ultimately it will be those highly visceral shows that end up influencing our children’s lives if we don’t actively come along side them and do the job of active parenting. Matter of fact, I’ll take this one step further and say that there isn’t any other type of parenting than “active.” Anything less is just a biological babysitter. Please mom and dad get involved! You may save yours or someone else’s child from physical injury or worse.
