Nah, this isn’t a post about anything intimate. This one isn’t about relationships, or women with BO or mustaches. This one is much more serious. It’s about mixed messages and the music “artists” who, whether intentionally or otherwise, send them on a regular basis.

Let’s first be real about one thing….music, for the most part these days, is all about money. There are real artists out there, and honestly who wants to be a starving artist all their lives but at the end of the day it is connection with album sales and not connection with the sharing of a God-given talent that drives many in the business.

Case in point, and the impetus for this rant, Keri Hilson’s song “Turning Me On” which features the semi-coherent Lil Wayne. My daughter wants to buy some more music with one of her many iTunes gift cards she’s amassed in the last few months and as is our ritual she pulls up the lyrics for me to inspect, to ensure that the content is age appropriate (she’s 13) and doesn’t completely obliterate the morals my wife and I are trying to teach, model and ultimately instill in our home. I’m going to lay (read: copy/pasta) the lyrics out for you here and I warn that the content toward the end of the song gets a little raunchy.

Please don’t turn me off, yeah like this
Where you at shawty?

you fly as hell, swagga right, brown skin poppin
you know just how to talk to me
know just how i like it
you turnin me on, you turnin me on, you turnin me on

now wait a minute lil busta u got one more time to feel on my booty
better recognize a lady that aint the way u do me, you turnin me off,
you turnin me off, you turnin me off, better recognize a real women…..

(ahhh)
you ever try to get that close to me
you better come correct how you
‘proachin me
dime divas give it to me
(ahhh)

I gotta be feelin your energy
i gotta be for sure that you’re into me
recogize a real woman

Ok, are you still with me here? Good, I’ll translate in case you’re a little lost: You’re really handsome and a smooth talker…charming even. I’m liking what I’m seeing and hearing. Oh wait! Did you just grab on my booty?!?! Don’t think that just because you’ve got those other things going on that you can just come at me however you wish and disrespect me like that! I’m a real woman and that crap is not ok…..you better make sure that you approach me properly when you do.

SO FAR, SO GOOD…..back to the song:

Going up on it, ya actin like ya
want it
and you stuntin like you daddy
checkin for this lil mamma
you turnin me on
you trunin me on
you turnin me on

now wait a minute lil busta
now you dont even know me
but you wanna take me
shoppin
you a lame, i cant tell it ain’t big
shit poppin
you turnin me off ,you turnin me off,you turnin me off

better recognize
a real woman

all you wanna do is
halla at the cutest
broad to get up in them draws
got money,
dont try to buy me
bottles, got my own dollars
i could buy up the bar if i want it

(ahhh)
you ever try to get that close to me
you better come correct how you
‘proachin me
dime divas give it to me
(ahhh)

I gotta be feelin your energy
i gotta be for sure that you’re into me
recogize a real woman

PAUSE again whilst (I really just like using that….yeah, yeah I’m not a brit, etc.) I translate again for those who may need it:  Though not completely clear, this section more than likely is referring to a man dancing with her and, again, showing her interest and he’s dressed well and/or accessorized with the blingage and then makes the mistake of trying to impress her with money and start offering her shopping sprees and the like, thinking that money can buy his way into her bedroom, so to speak. To which she replies, “I’ve got my own money, I can take care of myself. Don’t think that I’m that easy that you can just buy my love, affections, sex, etc.”

Again, kudos to the young lady for being strong and independent…..BUT WAIT!!!! What’s this? Lil Wayne’s verse/cameo is up next. Let’s delve into Wayne’s world shall we? And, here’s where the raunch comes in, fyi:

i’m fly as hell swagga right, brown skin poppin like dynamite
raw like china white,

mami i dig your persona right,
you look baby mama type,
i know that got you kinda hyped,
my ice is albino white,

i hope your vagina tight
i go underwater and i hope your piranha bite hahaha

hot carter ima kiss the spot for ya,
and im gonna kiss it till you scream,
wait a minute mothafucka.
ha, yea i turn you on like a handle
like a television on the weather channel,

cuz i make it rain girl,
now call me wayne girl,
you just an earthling you aint never been to Wayne’s world, world,

i play to win, i bait em in,
i do my thing now your in love with an
alien, polo wanna beat in weezy f im at the plate again, keri if you pitch it at me imma swing away at it,

See! We were all good until this verse dropped! This young lady spends the song up until this point talking about how she expects a certain level of respect and about her independence and then she (or her label or producers/handlers) allow Lil Wayne to come in and spout the same crap she’s telling men NOT to come at her with. She told the guy in the first verse that he needed to get his hands off her booty and “recognize a real woman” but it’s ok for Wayne to tell her that she looks like the “baby mama type” (read: single mother…..I’m going to knock you up then leave you to take care of the baby) and that he hopes her vagina’s tight! My apologies, but that would seem in direct opposition to the image and boundaries she appeared to set previously in the lyrics of this song and therein lies the double message.

I think the message is clear, “I’m a lady and I’m respectable UNLESS you’re a celeb and/or have multi-millions. Then I’m ok with you talking to me however you wish and treating me like a ho.” Maybe I’m reading too much into this and there are those who would just say that “it’s just a song” but this song puts forth a message and an idea and messages/ideas have consequences. Especially when those ideas/messages are being consumed wholesale by young, impressionabe minds. I even told my daughter (and she’s a smart cookie so it didn’t really need to be said) that “the song was all good sweetheart until Wayne’s verse. You know that right?” To which she replied with a smile and a nod because she knows how unnecessary the refuse he wrote was. I won’t even both ranting abou the rest of his verse because I think it’s pretty obvious what’s going on there if you’re familiar with the lingo and if you aren’t, it doesn’t get any better than what I’ve already layed out.

In closing, please…LADIES…YOUNG WOMEN out there…BE CONSISTENT! Please, please, please. A man will only do to you what you allow and if you’re boundaries are inconsistent, at some point one or more of them will be violated. I promise you this. This is where that whole ” ‘no’ means ‘yes’ and ‘yes’ means ‘no’ ” crap comes from. This is why, in small part, that date rapes are so prevalent in our culture. You can’t rely on the fact that a male has had a man in his life to teach him how to be a respecter and protector of his female counterparts. YOU are responsibe for YOU. And for us parents (and I need to be reminded of this as well), be consistent with your children as well. Live a life that you can tell them to “do as I do” and not one where you tell them to “do as I say, and not as I do” because regardless of what you tell them THEY ARE GOING TO DO AS YOU DO. I know it’s hard….believe me, I have first hand experience with this. Lol. But it’s a lot harder to look at them in a pretty screwed up situation because you didn’t live a life that could be positively modeled.

/rant