Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pagedooley/4080412658/sizes/m/#cc_license
Today’s post is about dads using technology to connect with their daughters. Specifically, I’m talking about taking your daughter to tea and some of the wonderful resources out there which will help prepare you for the outing. In the scope of this brief post, I will impart to you some things I’ve learned from taking my daughter to tea and point you in the direction of some web resources you may use to help you find just the right spot for you and your “baby girl.”
What is “Tea?”
“Tea” or more commonly, tea time, is just that, a time to sit down, slow down and just enjoy drinking some tea and having conversation. It can be done at home or at a tea house. If traveling to a tea house, make sure to call ahead of time because some actually require a reservation or have certain hours scheduled throughout the day for tea time.
Variety is the spice of life and many cultures have traditional tea houses. You might go to a Japanese tea house, or a British tea house, or maybe even an Ethiopian tea house. The location is up to you and your daughter. I let mine choose, so it’s kind of like a game for us. We get to go around the world through tea houses. Some tea houses serve full meals, while others serve only tea, small sandwiches and deserts. If you’re going to go to a traditional British tea parlor which serves the latter, I suggest you eat first. Your growling stomach will thank you for it.
Why Tea?
We’ve seen it on TV shows, in commercials, and maybe even in our own homes. It’s Saturday morning and what is your daughter doing? Why, she has her dollies all set around the table with her tea set and they’re having tea. She’s engaged in heavy, imaginary conversation with her “guests” and loving it. Face it dad, one of the awesome tools for connecting with your daughter is verbal communication and a great place for it is at tea. You can do this at home, but what I’m suggesting in this post is to take her out for tea. You can achieve a couple things with this. Taking your Princess out makes tea time special and as your daughter gets older you can use the tea time tradition as a “safe place” of sorts. The restaurant is a “neutral”setting where you daughter may feel more comfortable telling you some things which she isn’t quite so sure about your reaction. A daughter may understand that there are consequences for her actions, but setting up a tea time as a safe place for her to tell you things which may, in some cases, get you a little heated may actually get you to where you want to be…in a place where she feels that she can confide in you without being judged or immediately scolded. In a place where she feels that she will just be listened to by the man who’s supposed to be helping her navigate the complexities of life. It may be difficult at times, but temper yourself and allow tea time to be a time where she’s heard, no matter the conversation.
Tea Resources
If you’re going to hit Google for info, first try typing the city name you’re going to be looking at, along with the search terms “tea room” or “tea house.” Besides Google, some of my favorite resources on the web for finding tea houses are:
http://www.yelp.com
http://www.teamap.com
http://www.teaguide.net
Yelp is a great site because it also gives you user generated reviews of the tea houses you’re looking at. TeaMap and TeaGuide are tea lovers’ portals. You can find valuable articles about tea there as well as locations in your town to have it.
My Local Recommendations
Being that I’m in Southern California, I’ll give you a couple recommendations for you in this area in case you’re reading this and you live here or will be visiting. The first tea room I ever took my daughter to was the Rose Tree Cottage in Pasadena (http://www.rosetreecottage.com/). This is a traditional British tea room which serves tea and the finger sandwiches. Eat a larger meal before going so you don’t find your tummy rumbling while enjoying tea with your daughter, or plan to take her to lunch, then tea. The proprietors are a lovely couple who mingle with patrons and have created a very welcoming atmosphere. When my daughter and I went, one of the owners, Mary Fry, sat down and shared with us her photos from Safari and chatted my daughter up about what it meant to be a Brit (my little one was confused by the difference between someone who was English and someone who was British and Mary obliged by thoroughly answering the question).
The other tea house I absolutely love taking my daughter to because I can also get a dad sized meal is the Tudor House in Santa Monica (http://www.thetudorhouse.com). They have a wonderful menu which includes one of my favorites, fish and chips.
That should be enough to get you through your first tea time with your daughter. Just remember that the most important part of your afternoon together is that you be an outstanding listener. She’s the star and you her captive audience. If she has any problems or concerns that she opens up to you about, don’t immediately jump into “fix it” mode and just listen. The issue may not require fixing and she just needs to vent. Play your cards right and you could set yourself up to be her safe place to vent for many years to come! I know you may be thinking “yay! I get to be her sounding board. And man can she ’sound.’” True, but when those tween and teen years are in full swing, the inside information you become privy to is priceless and can serve as building blocks for a strong relationship for life.
RT @DShepherds: Based on the response we got from this http://www.digitalshepherds.com/blog/?p=... article, we’re putting 2gether a Daddy/Daugther Tea Tw …
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Wow love! Great article. It’s heart warming, tender and most of all true. You talked about doing it for years when Kailah was younger and followed through. I’m impressed and convinced if more dads do this, it will keep our daughters off the stripper poles and maybe, just maybe help them make good decisions about the men they choose. Sidenote: Hopefully, it will also keep them off the Maury Povich and Jerry Springer “Baby Daddy” shows. lol